Can you believe that I have already been in Korea for 8 months, and that Josh has been here for 11? Crazy! Living in a different country teaches you a lot about yourself, not just about the new place that you are in. Yes, I've learned my share of Korean phrases and words and I can direct a taxi to my house in Korean. I can ask the price of something and barter with sellers to get the price down at a street market in Korean. I can order something off a Korean menu in Korean. And, when I don't know the word for something I can make up sign language to communicate what I want with the best of them. But, these aren't quite as important as the things that I have learned about myself living here.
First, I've gotten really used to people staring at me. Living outside of your culture leads to many discoveries about your comfort levels, boundaries and assumptions. Before moving here this would have made me really uncomfortable and I'd start to think that something was wrong with me, or I had food in my teeth. But, living here has helped my self confidence to grow immensely. Koreans stare at me, and often comment on my whiteness (You white! You English? You America? You white!) or comment on how my skin color is changing because of the summer sun (Your skin better before you tan. You better white! Why do you want to be tan? Dark is ugly.) Kids on the street will pass you and stare before they get enough confidence to mutter, "Hello" in English to you. It's adorable. The more confident children will say, "My mom wants me to speak in English to you. Hi!" Haha! But, the staring abounds and happens on a daily basis.
My boss also LOVES to comment on my appearance, which was strange and a bit uncomfortable in the first few months I was teaching. (Ms Leah you look tired today. You need more rest. Ms Leah you look beautiful today. Much better than yesterday. Yesterday you look so angry and messy. Ms Leah do you want me to find you dermatologist? Your skin not beautiful today.) This isn't her being rude or invading my privacy, it's just the Korean way to be honest and, although it seems like she lacks tact, I think she really is just trying to help. Another teacher I work with is Canadian and my boss makes comments like these to her also. So, we share stories, laugh about them, and tell each other how we don't look horrible. :) Now, I can just laugh at these comments and move on. Before moving to Korea these probably would have really bothered me and made me feel bad about myself and my appearance. Now, I'm not phased because my boss is right, some days I do look tired. Some days I don't look as good as the day before. And that's ok. :)
Korean women are incredibly thin and are always dressed extremely well, especially in the affluent area where we live and work. It is common to see women walking to work in 4 inch heels and a dress with perfect hair and makeup. Korean women are stunning. They are always so pulled together and perfect. So, it's natural that in Korea I feel huge. My students tell me I am huge. When I eat something healthy my boss tells me that it's "good I am on a diet because I am large." When I shop for clothes, often times I can't find ones that fit. My shoe size is about a 7 or 7.5 in the states but in Korea it's hard to find shoes that fit me. Every time I shoe shop the shop owners tell me "Big big big!" Haha! But, this is also something that I've just gotten used to. Am I big? No. Are my feet abnormally huge? No. So, I just laugh, move on and do some online shopping for clothes. :) Maybe Korea is making me more easy going?!?! If anything, it's making me more accepting of myself.
Feeling like a complete idiot has become part of my everyday life in Korea. When you live in a country where you are not fluent in the primary language you often make silly mistakes and you just have to laugh them off. I speak Korean to Koreans and often times they just laugh at me. I get lost because I can't read the signs. I buy a huge bag of what I think is sugar, bake with it, and then discover that it was salt. Ugh! But, I'm trying and that's what matters. Korea has helped me to appreciate that mistakes are a part of life and to not be so hard on myself.
Perceptions of personal space are extremely different in Asia and I've come to see this as a part of everyday life. People push to get on and off the bus. People push on the streets and people cut in line. It's just the way it is. Visiting Seoul Costco is something that Josh and I will NEVER do again. It was like Disney World on the first day of Spring Break! Shopping at an E-Mart (Korean Walmart) on a weekend feels like Black Friday shopping because of the crowds. So, I remind myself to not take it personally when people are crowded all around me just to get in a line or get on the bus.
But, for all this I will say that Koreans are extremely polite. If an older person enters the bus a younger person will give up their seat. Always. When you go to the movie theater you choose your assigned seat when you buy your ticket. It's great! If I am in the subway station and wander around a bit and look lost a kind Korean will come and ask if I need help. So, for the lack of respect of personal space, other things are extremely polite and respectful. But, don't even get me started on the issues of respect and politeness when driving. YUCK! :)
Lastly, and most importantly, I've learned that Josh and I can get through anything. Getting married, moving across the US, having four months together, then three months apart, them moving across the WORLD doesn't make for what a couple would dream first year of marriage. But, we've done and and we've done it well. It's been an AMAZING ride and we are experiencing things that we never even dreamed. We've learned to depend on each other because when you are on the other side of the world from your friends and family you only have each other. We've learned to take things one day and that no matter what life throws at us. We are experiencing a new culture, learning things about ourselves and each other.
